Aphorism

I hate arrogant people; they're so inferior to me.

Apostasy

My family is a minority in India. We’re Christians. To be more precise, my mom’s side of the family is largely Catholic. Whereas, my dad’s side of the family is mostly Baptist. When I was growing up, we used to go to church every Sunday and practically every other holy day. To say my family was devout, would be a bit of an understatement. Mind you we weren’t fundamentalist in any sense of the word. My parents are largely liberal people, so the narrow mindedness of fundamentalism doesn’t appeal to them, although they tend to side with their Catholic beliefs on certain questions.

I’d have to say I was a fervent believer when I was younger. But I’m not sure how much of that piety was my own and how much of it had to do with the atmosphere I was brought up in. I prayed with my parents every night, went to church whenever they went and pretty much went through the motions. There was even a part in my early adolescence I considered going into the priesthood; although, oddly enough, I never was an altar boy even though both my brothers were.

It’s hard to pinpoint exactly when I became an atheist. Like quite a few defining moments in my life it was something that just happened. It was not a conscious decision on my part. There was no long, dark night of the soul, no sudden revelation. The idea of god just seemed less and less reasonable to me. At the time, I had only one friend who was an atheist. Up until I met him, I had never known an atheist. It was the first time I met someone who challenged my views. Before then, I didn’t really think too much about my beliefs. Like many people, they were just my beliefs, not something I had rationally thought out, but something that I held on to from a combination of complacency and ignorance.

I don’t recall specifically coming out to my friends as an atheist. They had known me as a semi-religious person up until that point, although we never really discussed religion. Fortunately, no one stopped being my friend, not that I thought they would. My parents were another matter. I still went with them to church and prayed with them at night. I kept it quiet as long as I could. After I first got my car, I was able to excuse myself from church by saying I was going on my own while in reality I would just drive around for an hour or so. I would hide books by atheists and agnostics under my bed, clandestinely reading them at night. I did this for almost two years. One day I decided to tell my family.

The day I told my parents was one of the many days in the Catholic calendar set aside for the Virgin Mary. It was a mass that usually only the few, most devout would attend. The rest of my family had prepared to leave for church but I stayed in my room. My mom came into my room to see what was the matter. I told her that I wouldn’t be going to church. She asked if I was sick. I took a deep breath and told her that I wouldn’t be going to church anymore. When she asked why, I told her I didn’t believe in god. The words hit her like a bullet. She was taken aback and didn’t know what to say. My father had come into the room and my mom told him what I said. He was angry and yelled at me for not believing in something so obvious. They tried to get me to go to church, but I refused. That night, for the first time in my life, I didn’t join in my family prayers.

Relations with my parents were a little strained, as would be expected. I quietly removed the pictures of Jesus from my room that my parents had put up. I didn’t bother to hide what I was reading from my parents. At first, they didn’t push me to go to church. Once Christmas was around the corner, my parents started tring to convince me to go with them. They tried to make it sound like a family event, rather than a religious one, but I stood firm.

It was the hardest thing I've had to do so far in my life. On the one hand, as much as I disagree with my parents on their beliefs, I do respect them for theirs. They're genuine Christians who don't feel any animosity towards people outside their faith. They're tremendously kind and generous, a trait that seems especially lacking with other religious people these days. But having said that, I don't see how I could live the rest of my life hiding my beliefs from them.

My Top 100 or So Movies

For those you interested, here's my list for my favorite films of all time (so far).

Ace in the Hole (The Big Carnival)
Aguirre, The Wrath of God
Airplane!
Andrei Rublev
Annie Hall
Aparajito
Apocalypse Now
Apur Sansar
Arsenal
Battle of Algiers
Beyond a Reasonable Doubt
Big Heat
Big Parade
Big Sleep
Bitter Tea of General Yen
Black God, White Devil
Breathless
Chess Fever
Chinatown
City Lights
City of Sadness
Close-Up
Conformist
Contempt
Conversation
Crimes and Misdemeanors
Crowd
Dead Man
Death by Hanging
Dirty Harry
Dog Day Afternoon
Fort Apache
Fury
Godfather
Godfather II
Goodfellas
Grand Illusion
Great Dictator
Greed
Hail, The Conquering Hero
Heaven's Gate
High and Low
I Vitelloni
Jana Aranya
Kiss Me Deadly
Leopard
Life is Sweet
Life of Brian
Los Olvidados
Lost in America
M
M*A*S*H
Man of the West
Marketa Lazarová
Mean Streets
Men in War
Miracle of Morgan's Creek
Modern Times
Moment of Innocence
Monsieur Verdoux
Naked
Naked Kiss
Nazarin
Nibelungen: Kriemhild's Revenge
Nibelungen: Siegfried
Night of the Hunter
Once Upon a Time in the West
Only Angels Have Wings
Our Hospitality
Out of the Past
Outlaw Josey Wales
Panic
Pather Panchali
Paths of Glory
Pelle the Conqueror
Peppermint Candy
Perfect World
Pierrot Le Fou
Pitfall
Pulp Fiction
Puppetmaster
Purple Rose of Cairo
Reason, Debate and a Tale
Ride Lonesome
Ride the High Country
Rio Bravo
Rules of the Game
Safety Last
Sansho the Bailiff
Satantango
Scarlet Street
Serpico
Seven Samurai
Sherlock, Jr.
Shoeshine
Shoot the Piano Player
Shot in the Dark
Sleeper
Smiles of a Summer Night
Some Like it Hot
Sweet Smell of Success
Tall T
Taxi Driver
Thin Red Line
Third Man
Throne of Blood
Touch of Evil
Treasure of the Sierra Madre
Twentieth Century
Week End
Wild Bunch
Yojimbo

Who the Hell Am I and Why Should You Care

Well I finally did it. I got my own blog. It's been something I've been meaning to do for quite a while now. Nothing has really been stopping me except my own laziness. I was originally going to use this as a blog to talk about movies, but my interests are quite diverse and instead of sticking to one subject I'd invariably range all over the map. In the end I decided that this blog will be outlet for my "creative non-fiction." That banner should pretty much cover anything I want to write about, from movies to politics to history to science. Some entries will be short and some might end up being very long, but I hope they will always be interesting. I can't guarantee regular postings, due to my aforementioned laziness (although it is something I'm trying to overcome), but I promise not to let too much time go past between postings.

"So what's with the name?" you might be asking. Well for one thing I am Indian, or, to be more accurate, I am an American citizen of Indian descent, hence the Dravidian. As for the samurai . . . Well I'm just a big fan of samurai films. As to why you should care, well that's up to you.